I’m happy you’ve found a great place in Christian mysticism. May you always be blessed.

But I do agree with Ted that gnostic and Dead Sea Scroll writings like the Gospel of Thomas portray a Jesus which is different from the Jesus who was God’s son, and false ‘Jesus Christs’ abound such that it is important to be VERY CLEAR about which ‘christ’ you serve. [For example, Matthew Fox's 'cosmic christ' is also not the Christ of the Gospels.]

Along these lines, although I am a mystic who regularly experiences the presence of God as well as communication back from Him in the form of all-encompassing knowledge (as you describe in your discussion of Theosis), it is true that not all mystical experience is ‘of God’ and many contemplative practices actually cause individuals to ‘become one’ with false presences who merely pretend to be Christ.

The difference is tremendous: a mystic who genuinely grows in relationship with the One True God becomes so dedicated to Truth and God’s will, that he or she has no choice but to be a force to be reckoned with in society at large; literally the type of larger-than-life actor who will overturn money-lending tables in the temple. I have (metaphorically) done this many times as a lawyer and activist, and have suffered financial and personal repercussions from ‘speaking Truth to Power.’ In other words, I genuinely bear a cross for Christ.

A ‘mystic’ who is in union with a false spirit will FEEL like he or she is ‘one with God,’ and may sound pious, wise and in awe when speaking about his or her experiences, but will do little which has a lasting, meaningful impact in the larger world. A mystical experience which does not lead to concrete stances in opposition to all which God detests about the culture and practices of lost humanity is a mystical experience which does nothing to help God advance His Kingdom on earth — and is, thus, nothing more than spiritual narcissism.

The Bible emphasizes that our desires lead us into destruction, and it is the DESIRE for experiences of God which lays the foundation for deception. Jesus did not tell us to seek union with God, or engage in spiritual disciplines in order to compel God’s presence. No! Jesus instructed us to LOVE God and to focus on Him and His will without agenda, without asking anything for ourselves, desiring only to be perfect in His eyes.

I had a daily, intense prayer life for close to 11 years before I first experienced God communicating back (at age 16) — it was completely unexpected and unsolicited, and did not happen again that directly for another twenty-three years (at the age of 33). Since the age of 33 (13 years ago) when I experienced an intense 8-day Ecstasy which blew away all remaining barriers between He and I, my experience of God’s presence and communication has been ongoing and near constant. But, again, this state of union and relationship was preceded by 34 years of prayer, study, discernment.

And my prayer life has never consisted of me requesting that God ‘do’ things: God is not Santa Claus, and I honestly think that petitionary prayer is a form of heresy. God does not exist for our pleasure or to meet what WE think we need (He is the only one who knows our genuine needs): He is not a genie in a bottle!

Prayer is meant as a self-examination of conduct and a confession of sin; a constant cleansing of one’s inner self in order to grow in character and become even more conformed to Christ’s image. Every shower is literally a new baptism wherein I pray that God ‘wash away my inequity and cleanse me from my sin,’ and I emerge with the knowledge that my prayer has been heard and I am yet again a ‘new vessel’ for the inpouring of God’s new wine — the Being of Christ.

In light of my experiences as a mystic, I get disturbed when I read of seekers who decide they want to experience God’s presence and so start meditating or fasting or (whatever) WITH THE GOAL of making a spiritual experience happen. This is like issuing an open invitation to what ever false spirits happen along to ‘fill the void’ with feel-good experiences which bolster the ego’s pride that one has now become ‘a mystic’ — presto — pronto — hallelujah. This is simply self-delusion.

On this note, you mention on your Theosis page (I believe that’s where I saw this) that a friend you met through this website lives constantly in God’s presence and says she can distinguish no difference between herself and God . . . and I find that very suspect, I have to admit. Part of the ‘dark night of the soul’ aspect of mystical union includes that at times you do not perceive God’s presence, and that lack of union and perception causes intense suffering, since a soul who lives in union with God feels like she could not endure ever again living in a state apart from God such that even His temporary absence feels like hell.

Though these periods of darkness never last long — maybe a couple of days at the most, depending on whatever circumstances have made it necessary for God to ‘cloak Himself’ in this fashion — still they are always present in the life of a genuine mystic (and they were present in Jesus Christ’s life as well, as evidenced by his famous ‘Why hast Thou forsaken me?’ utterance on the cross).

Your friend also said that union with God made her feel like there was no difference at all between the two of them — and that is a major red flag of deception because although a mystic often does not know where he/she leaves off and God begins — i.e., there is a definite overlapping of boundaries — still there is ALWAYS the knowledge that God is Other just as much as He is also ‘at One.’ I am not God in His totality, and neither was Jesus Christ (he never claimed to BE ‘the Father,’ but just to be in union with his Father and to do his Father’s will perfectly) and neither is your friend.

God is God and He has no intention of being supplanted by men who THINK they are God. He is a distinct Being with a personality and an agenda, and no true mystic ever forgets that. Indeed, the deeper the mystical connection, the more one knows that God has an agenda which is not our own and a personality we do not control and did not create, and a plan for the world we cannot know unless we love Him passionately and unreservedly as Jesus Christ instructed.
St. Teresa of Avila is probably the best authority on this point: she even once playfully scolded God that the reason He has so few friends is because He is so difficult to get along with. I.e., union with God is NOT a static experience of peace, calm, bliss and good will. AU CONTRAIRE!

Sorry to go on at such length, but obviously I care very deeply that mysticism be understood truthfully and with all of its attendant ramifications.

Sincerely,
Diane

P.S. My spiritual background, in case you are interested: I was a devout Catholic from childhood up until college, when God led me to study ‘the Words in Red’ with a youth minister at an independent Protestant bible church. Later in life He led me to study classical Christian mysticism, Reform Judaism, general theology and cosmology (among other things, including every facet of parenting — since I have 5 children).

I now consider myself a non-denominational Lover of God who follows God’s personal direction as well as Scripture (as interpreted by study, contemplation and revelation). If I were to still consider myself a Catholic, I would be a progressive Catholic . . . but I no longer believe in the ritual of Mass, infant baptism, the Pope, devotion to Mary and other core components of Catholicism, so I guess that pretty much rules me out of my original denomination! (smile)

Though I doubt if anyone would classify me as “christian” because I am interested in so many other traditions including the dreaded “pagan” ones, I still dig Christ.

So anyway, it seems this post is about what philosophers call “qualia” or “raw feels”; its something one finds in phenomenology as well. What I wanted to add to the discussion is that some neuroscientists are finding that there are subjective aspects of experience that cannot be reduced to anything physical in the brain. Let me qualify: though what occurs in the mind is tightly correlated with what occurs in the brain, in the end, we are *monistic* beings of both mind AND brain, and neither can be reduced to the other. They are two aspects of the same unity, but viewed from different aspects, like waves and particles. Thanks for a great website, I look forward to visiting often.

When I look, I mostly find conditioned mind. On the few occasions when I see through it, sometimes I find sensory awareness, sometimes emptiness. Is that what Thomas’ Jesus had in mind?

Thanks.